How the Programs You Inherited Shape Your Life (and How to Change Them)
Let’s start with the foundation:
You are not just a body walking through life.
You are a spirit first.
You have a mind (which acts like your programming).
And you live in a body that carries out what the mind believes.
If you’re a spirit first, that means that in the beginning — before the world started shaping you — you had no fears, no labels, and no limitations. You were pure possibility.
But then came your mind — and along with it, your programs.
Where Limiting Beliefs Begin
No matter how much your parents or caregivers loved you, or how good their intentions were, they started shaping your “programming” from day one.
And here’s the thing: it’s not about blame.
It’s about understanding that all of us inherit belief systems long before we know how to question them.
Some of these beliefs are cultural.
Some are family rules passed down for generations.
Some are subtle messages you picked up from things never even said out loud.
The Labels Begin
It usually starts early:
- You’re a boy. Boys don’t wear pink. Boys don’t cry. Boys don’t wear dresses.
- We live downtown. Don’t fall in love with a girl from the other side of the railway line.
You haven’t experienced enough life to know what these “rules” really mean, so your mind does something powerful (and sometimes harmful): it fills in the blanks.
Maybe you start believing:
- “Girls on the other side of the tracks must be less pretty.”
- “Our family is better than those families.”
- “Crossing lines (literal or figurative) is dangerous.”
These beliefs take root without you realizing it — and now they’re part of the programs quietly running your life.
Why These Beliefs Can Hurt Later
Fast forward to adulthood.
You meet someone who feels right.
She makes you feel alive, seen, and connected.
And then you find out… she lives on the other side of the railway line.
Now your heart and your programming are at war:
- Part of you wants to follow your feelings.
- Another part clings to the “rules” you were taught, even if you don’t fully believe them anymore.
This can create deep inner conflict — sometimes leading to tension with loved ones, tension within yourself, and even self-sabotage of relationships or opportunities.
The One Question to Ask Yourself
When you bump into beliefs like this, there’s a simple but powerful question to ask:
“Is this belief protecting me, or is it limiting me?”
Because most limiting beliefs weren’t created to harm you.
They were created to help you fit in, stay safe, or follow your “tribe’s” ways.
But what protected you as a child may now be holding you back as an adult.
Common Limiting Beliefs You Might Recognize
Here are just a few examples I often see when working with clients:
- Rich people are greedy or bad. (So you unconsciously avoid money or success.)
- If I’m not perfect, I’m not enough.
- Love always ends in pain, so I’d better protect myself.
- It’s selfish to put my needs first.
Most of these beliefs sound harmless on the surface — but they can quietly dictate your choices, your relationships, and even your confidence without you realizing it.
How to Start Changing These Patterns
The first step is simply becoming aware of the programs running in the background.
Once you spot a belief that feels heavy, restrictive, or fear-based, take a moment to ask yourself:
- Where did this belief come from?
(Was it from your family, culture, or a past experience?) - Is it true, or is it just something I was taught to believe?
- Does it support the life I want to create — or does it hold me back?
With awareness, you create choice.
And when you start choosing beliefs that align with your spirit — the limitless, original part of you — your mind and body begin to follow.
Final Thoughts
Limiting beliefs aren’t your fault.
But once you see them, they are your responsibility to shift.
When you release what doesn’t serve you, something powerful happens:
- The weight you didn’t even know you were carrying starts to lift.
- Decisions feel clearer and more aligned.
- Life starts to feel like something you’re living — not just enduring.
And if you find that some of these patterns feel too deeply rooted to untangle on your own, know that you don’t have to do it by yourself.
This is the kind of work I do every day with my clients — helping them identify, release, and reprogram the beliefs that keep them stuck, so they can finally feel free to live the life that feels true to them.
Because at the end of the day:
You were born limitless. And you can return to that truth.